my biggest fear

Today's #blogtober14 prompt is a hard one for me. There are a lot of things I fear both big and small. I'm a huge scared-y cat and can.not.do things like haunted houses or scary movies. I was almost dragged to one this past weekend and almost started crying at the thought of it. I know. I'm obnoxious.

But some of my bigger fears are disappointing loved ones or, perhaps worse, myself and/or failing at goals I've set for myself. I think maybe what I fear even more than failing is simply not doing. There have been several things in my life I haven't done because of some type of fear whether it's been anxiety (which I have a loooot of), homesickness, loss of control, etc. 

I've rationalized decisions and sat on the sidelines out of fear something wouldn't go the way I expected or wanted it to. I've missed out on opportunities because of it in the past and am working very hard to not miss anymore in the future. I've come to the conclusion that I am my biggest obstacle. I've often claimed other people or factors as reasons not to do something until recently coming to the realization that it's me. 

I can only control my own actions. I have the power to make decisions and do things for me. So, in order to silence that fear of not enjoying things or experiencing everything life has to offer I'm going to take that trip, and write that book, and cook the hardest recipe. I'm going to take that leap so I'll have a life to look back on instead of memories sitting on the sidelines. 

Yes, Dr, yes. 

*

Be sure to link up with Taylor, Helene & the rest of us for #Blogtober14!