Friday Five

Very happy it's Friday, people. This week has been a little mentally draining, so I'm looking forward to some relaxation this weekend and a therapy appointment on Sunday to get my head back on straight ;) Let's jump in to the five things I'm loving/thinking about today.

//Diet Refresh Thoughts

So if you know me, you know the phrase "diet refresh" isn't a favorite of mine or something I'm loving, but that's what this week was about for me so I'm including it here because we're keeping it real. I purchased the 3-Day Refresh from Beachbody about a month ago for an exorbitant price thinking that price tag would hold me accountable for doing it because I'm not about to waste $80.

Without getting into too much detail about that program itself (I wouldn't recommend it honestly because, as with all Beachbody products, the price is ridiculous for basically paying for 9 shakes/drinks, and the taste is terrible like I was only able to get down the Shakeology ones and even those were a struggle), I'm left feeling discouraged and it's really frustrating. Today is my last day on it and while I guess I feel better, I didn't see enough "results" to warrant the mental crap I had to go through this week. I know, I know. It was only three days and I'm super aware of how dramatic I'm being about it. 

I wasn't expecting to lose a considerable amount of weight by any means, but maybe one pound or two. I ended up getting sick this week with a sinus cold so that hasn't helped in terms of being able to recognize my body feeling much better because it doesn't. I guess I'm complaining maybe just to complain. But I weighed myself LIKE AN IDIOT last night (like for real why do I even own a scale? it's just the worst) just to see if I saw any kind of progress, and I actually gained three pounds from last week. I was so annoyed and upset (again, exactly why I shouldn't get on a scale). 

I've followed the program pretty strictly and felt like I didn't get "the prize" for doing it. My expectations were reasonably low: lose one pound or so, jumpstart the weight loss train again, feel better internally. Maybe by the end of the day I'll have lost a pound or at least break even, I know this shouldn't deter me from getting on that train, and I do feel better internally for the most part especially since I'm proud I completed something I set out to do. And yet, I can't shake that discouragement. I spiraled a little last night feeling like this decade+ weight loss journey is impossible and it's never going bring me to the place I ultimately want to be. I know a journey is a never ending plight, but I thought at some point this would get a little easier. And then I felt guilty for even complaining about this because I know people have so much worse going on in their lives right now and something this silly doesn't even compare.

But then this morning on Facebook, my friend Maddie's (who was also my roommate in college) mom posted a video from the gym she goes to with Maddie. The gym did a story about Maddie after she had posted on Instagram a few weeks ago about her weight loss journey. Maddie has struggled with her weight all her life and has spoken about her freshman year of college (the year her and I lived together) as being the year she realized she needed to make a change. She left Chicago and moved back home to Nebraska to be closer to family and go to college there where she subsequently lost over one hundred pounds. She is a beautiful soul, a loving member of her family, devoted girlfriend, and owns her own business--which happens to be a cookie store--and she met this struggle head on. She's my inspiration. So this morning I decided to shut up, try to cut that negative crap from my mind (which will forever be a lifelong struggle for me), and absorb a little bit of Maddie's magic. 

I mean, who wouldn't be inspired by that? So I'm going to push through the mental blocks, continue doing the research and the work, and hopefully I'll end up with some of the results--both physical and emotional--I've been looking for. Endlessly proud and thankful to my friend for sharing her story.

//First Signs of Fall Weather

Moving on to some less heavy subjects... I've been loving the first signs of fall weather we're getting here in Chicago. Today I threw a cozy sweater over my chambray shirt and was feeling very fall, especially with my cup of tea I'm having this morning. Yes I drink hot tea through a straw. Try it, you'll change your life.

//Current Read: We're Never Meeting in Real Life

I'm currently finishing up We're Never Meeting in Real Life by Samantha Irby and I've been loving it. It's dark in some places, vulgar in others, but wholly honest, and very, very funny. She's from Evanston, IL, and I love the references to Chicago and the surrounding suburbs, so if you're local, I bet you'd get it a kick out of it too. Highly recommend.

//Nightstand Vibes

This is nothing groundbreaking obviously but I snapped a picture of my nightstand last night because it looked so calming to me haha. I recently resubscribed to Glamour (not sure why I ever stopped getting it) and I'm so happy when it's delivered. This just a glimpse at some things that make me so happy: my bed, stacks of books, remotes which mean The Golden Girls are on in the background ;) It's the little things, folks.

//Weekend Plans

I've been looking forward to tomorrow for a few weeks now. My girlfriend is having us over for brunch in the morning, I may run some errands with one of them in the afternoon, and then my mom and I are going by my cousin's who is hosting a girl's night. I. Can't. Wait. for all the girl time. The women in my life are such a source of joy for me and I'm so happy to be spending some quality time with them. 

As for tonight, I may make a surprise visit to my grandma's after work :) this summer was so busy for me that I wasn't able to stop by or spend some quality time with her like I should have, so I'm hoping to make up for some of that in the upcoming months.

Well thanks for listening to the rants and random thoughts today if you've even made it this far, friends ;)

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

xo